9mth Checkup

On Monday, Brennan had his 9mth check up, even though he is now 10mths old.  I have never been more anxious about a doctors appointment in my life.  See, what you may not know is what happened on the previous Monday:

I had started a load of laundry while the boys were eating dinner.  When they had finished, I scooped them up, carrying them at arms distance, trying to not get covered in their leftovers.  I got them undressed and filled the tub. I so happy that Clay would be coming home soon. It was one of those days. After setting them in the tub, I took the disgusting rags that slightly resembled clothes to the washing machine.  On my way back, I heard lots of loud splashing. Not totally out of the norm, but somewhat alarming.  When I walked back into the bathroom, I went straight into panic mode as I saw Liam angrily holding Brennan down, who was face down thrashing in the water. I ran across the room sweeping Brennan up.  He was so limp, like a noodle, staring off into space, and in a state of shock.  His breath was faint as I rubbed his back as he proceeded to vomit up water. Over and over again. What seemed like hours and gallons of water, Brennan turned bright red and was coughing.  I have never been so excited to hear a coughing baby in my life. I yanked both boys out of the tub and out of the bathroom. Liam when straight to his room, naked and all. Where as Brennan and I waited impatiently outside for Daddy to get home, so that I wouldn't hurt Liam. Not really sure what happened, but from what I can gather, Liam got mad at Brennan when he took his toy fish.  Liam being frustrated held Brennan underwater.


This scary life lesson has taught me two things.  First is that on those rainy or hot days, when the kids are all couped up and driving you nuts, even though they are driving you insane, they are blessings.  I know I sometimes lose sight of that. This week was a huge wakeup call to me.  I have never been so happy to hear my kids whine as I have this week. Those two boys are my heart and soul. Just the thought of possibly losing one of them gives me the chills. I'm going to savor every moment I have with them.  The second thing I've learned is "is it worth it".  Is it really worth it to step out of the room while they are taking a bath, answer the phone while their eating, checking facebook while the baby is crawling on the floor, or leaving them on the changing table to grab extra wipes.  I stepped out of the room for a couple of seconds.  Seconds people. What would I have done if something happened to Brennan so I could finish some laundry?  I would have never forgiven myself. I know as moms we multi task, it's hard not too. I'm going to try really hard to only focus on the task at hand and try not to be two steps ahead of myself.  Be in the moment.


I'm not writing this to tell you about my awful week. Or how I felt like a failure as a mom. I was actually really embarrassed that I stepped out of the room (I never do that). Or to tell you how angry I was at Liam for not showing his brother some kindness and mad at myself that maybe if I was even more strict with discipline that this might not have happened. I am writing this all down for myself so that I don't forget what happened. That it stays fresh in my mind, and maybe hopefully it might help some one else, even if its just a reminder.


Even though I was extremely anxious and now you can see why, Brennan's lungs look great.  He is also 20lbs and 30in long, which is 90th for height and 30th for weight.  He met all his milestones, except one, which is his pincher gasp.